although what i've made above may be hasty generalizations of both sexes, i think most of us envision having future mates who are so perfect you would think they didn't come from this world. but isn't that unfair - to want someone who is perfect without so much as thinking if we ourselves are deserving of such? before even thinking of being in a relationship with your dream guy/girl we must first learn to be a suitable type of person for our future partner.
Don't idealize.Get real, nobody's perfect. everybody in this world has committed a mistake and has weaknesses and imperfections. of course we would want only the best for ourselves, but let's be realistic and reflect really on what will suit us. i'm not all against dreaming big and aiming high, but stay grounded. stay true to who you really are.
We are the ones who really give the measure of what we expect. Therefore, before even thinking of being in a relationship with your dream guy/girl we must first learn to be a suitable type of person for our future partner.
how do we do this?
1. Have a good self-image and good self-esteem
-Knowing yourself is of utmost importance to guage your readiness. A good self-image means that your idea or your belief about yourself is bound with reality. there is no disillusionment. Let me add healthy to that good self-image. This means that even in exclusion of other people, you are satisfied and comfortable with who you are. A good self-esteem means that you have a strong belief in yourself and in your abilities. This will be your key in socializing with other people and making friends.
2.Examine yourself and strengthen your weaknesses.
-Try writing it down. It's more real when you see it on paper. write down what you think you excel in or where you're good at. this may include physical attributes, attitudes, behaviors, values, beliefs, talents and ministry. then, write down your weaknesses. ask GOD for humility so that HE may reveal to you the things you might need to work on. Example, you might get easily angry over small stuff. This would not work if you would be in a relationship in the future. So you have to work on it, starting now.
3.Be willing to yield and be reconciled.
-Submission is oftentimes hard because the word "submission" is always associated with the words "surrender" and "defeat". and this is the hardest thing to do when all the organs inside of you are screaming in unison saying "I WANT LOVE RIGHT NOW!". This would be incredibly frustrating even more when God says to you, "NOT YOUR TIME YET." But being ready to enter in a relationship means that you should be used to compromise and most of the time giving to the other person rather than getting what you want. And chiseling your attitude towards that is best done now rather than when you're in the midst of a relationship. Allow GOD to shape your attitude by learning everyday to submit to HIS will and surrendering your heart to HIM. I know, waiting in silence can be really lonely and can drive you crazy at times but I assure you, there is a GOD in control and HE wants you to yield to HIM first as HE prepares HIS future for you.
4. Allow yourself to be corrected.
- As I said above, this is the time to iron-out those wrinkles in your attitude and reshape thse behaviors into something your future spouse would be proud of. Everything we do now will impact our future. This time of solitude is given to us right now for a reason and that is to prepare us into something better. Listen to your fiends, your family (your parents) especially on what they can see are the areas you need to improve on. Don't be afraid to come up to them and ask. They are the persons who know you well and i think they are the ones who would be honest and firm enough with you to help you in this season. Look to your church leaders, a mature christian female if you're a girl and christian male if you're a guy. Growing in a Christ-like way never hurts anyone. I know it is hard to admit that we made mistakes and that we have done wrong maybe in the past or even right now. I tell you only a brave few can do it because it really requires a humble heart to really get this suggestion into practice. But always ask for the grace of GOD and HIS wisdom and I'm sure HE will not fail to hear you.
All self-help books available in the market might says something else but all these four points drive down to one point that I wish to make: if you want to be the best you right now, only GOD can help you with that. No mantra, no, book, no program, no blog, no person, no doctor, no specialist, no saint, no miracle worker can change you. ONLY GOD CAN. It is only when you choose to submt to follow HIS will and not your own will you experience HIS changing power moving in your life and the transformation into being the BEST you can happen.
Try it today, and be prepared tomorrow.