i have had 3 boyfriends already even before i realized that iwasn't really ready to enter in a relationship. i had my first boyfriend when i was only 14 years old and at that age. a usual teenager would be worried more on school, studying hard to get into a reputable college. but at that time, my mind was busy wandering into the world of crushes, relationships, and flirting. it was enough for me that i felt something for another person to consider him as one of my "prospects", even if that feeling was really vague and misleading. it wasn't all like in the movies or teeny-bopper shows depicting puppy love because it always ended up in one's heart being broken: mine and the guy's. all because i wasn't ready.
why is it important to be ready?
relationships should not be treated as a joke. we are talking about people's hearts and feelings. if we do not take these matters seriously, it would either cause us or somebody else pain which could have been avoided only in we have chosen to be ready first. and who would want one heartache after another? it would be very inconsiderate of the person you would enter in a relationship with if we commit without really being ready.
what steps can you take to get ready?
1. Consider a time of solitude for yourself.
-a time of singleness is always a blessing. elisabeth elliot said in her book passion and purity", that each of us were called to serve GOD as singles and this should be how we think unless GOD has made it clear to us that HE has called us into marriage otherwise. being single gives you time to know yourself more and know what you want in life, including what you want in a future mate.
2. Acknowledge that GOD has control over your love life.
-God has chosen a perfect mate for you. and HE will let you meet in HIS proper time. so there is no need for you to "try out" several people. don't make the "oh, i'm helping GOD with finding my mate, perfect with everything i want" excuse to enter into short-term, purpose-less relationships. HE has a plan for your life and it was made for your good. (Jer.29:11)
3. Wait without anxiety.
-waiting in silence to hear GOD's voice is the hardest. bearing the uncertainty, self-doubts and all the "what if's" you can think of will make you want to ask "LORD when will my time come?" waiting without anxiety entails that we trust GOD completely and without questions. Ask GOD to revise your heart to trust HIM, HIS choices more than your own.
4. Ensure that your thoughts and feelings are in line with the Bible.
-Renew your mind. When we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, he made us into new creations(2Cor.5:17). The bible says, we must be transformed with the renewing of our minds and no longer conform with the ways of this world. This, my friends, includes our love lives.
5. Seek inner healing and ministry for wounds form the past.
-These wounds may be caused by: infidelity, lack of acceptance, physical and verbal abuse. It is imporatnt for us to do this to get ready so that there will be no entry point for the enemy to use to access or affect our future relationships. Entering a relationship with unhealed wounds may cause difficulty and damages to you and your mate that can be avoided if you settle this first. Go to a trusted Christian adult (same gender as you are) who can minister to you in this area.
how would you know if you are ready?
you'll know you're ready when GOD says that you are. and we can only be sure by this by keeping an intimate relationship with HIM and not losing touch with our creator. He created us. He has a plan for us and He has timed everything in our life perfectly to meet His plan for our lives.
when i met allan, God has just called me out of a relationship because i felt that He wanted me to accomplish something - something that i had to do alone. although people around me did not get this, they thought i was just cruel to have broken up with my ex without any definite reason. But now as i look back, God had designed that time for me to know myself more and to get ready. I am very much happy I trusted GOD during that time. Even if it was difficult at times, I have found GOD's purpose for this time in my life and in the end i found it really rewarding.
watch out for my next blog. being the best you can be.
Praying for the One
3 years ago