moments spent together, no matter how short the time, are worth remembering.
allan and his family came to manila for pastor glenn's ordination (now he's r.p.g. [reverend pastor glenn]). when he told me i thought he was joking. i was at the teleperformance recruitment office that whole day(nov.28) doing tests and interviews. yet i had to return the next day for the job offer. when i told him the story, he said that we would meet then after i finished what i had to do tomorrow. i just laughed and said "ows?" i really didn't believe him. he said he was serious so i said "ok" just to settle the situation.
i was at edsa-central once again the following day[nov.29] for the job offer and medical examination. i was late because i slept at 4am coming from church. i would've finished the medical exam quicker if Jen and Loreen (my new acquaintances) didn't yank me out of the health first office to eat lunch at Jollibee. after that we went back and by 2:00pm i was done. i was glad it was over and i could rush to gateway to meet allan...but i was disturbed by the doctor's diagnosis that i may have a thyroid problem. bummer.
kicking the idea out of my head i ran to the MRT station, took the train to cubao. and he was waiting there at farmer's. you'd think that after not seeing each other for almost three months, being reunited would be like in the movies where the girl and boy start running toward each other from a considerable distance.and when they meet the boy would lock the girl in sweet embrace and lift her up in the air. kinda like an OFW coming home scene. hmm..no such thing happened.
we quietly proceeded to gateway. what i found weird was that i found myself trying to adjust to the thought and the reality that he was by my side, that he was right there, that he was holding my hand and saying my name not through the phone but he's right there...with me.
we found an empty table at the food court and just sat there staring at each other for hours. getting used to it, you might say. but in my head i know these moments will be short lived and that he would leave me again the day after tomorrow.
we met with his mama, papa, older brother, and tita for snacks. we had KFC chicken burger meals and snack boxes. small talk. allan left to buy more burgers.less talk.no talk. it felt really uncomfortable. considering i am someone with the "gift" of gab (hey, i got a call center to hire me),this was unusual for me. my brain was screaming "allan come back!"
we went to kuya glenn and ate niqz' house but they weren't there. we watched the youth practice for their play presentation the next day. after that he took me home. the bus ride was over so fast, we didn't even feel it. our day was over. while walking to the jeep terminal i was already crying. Allan was saying stuff like he way saying goodbye already, i couldn't hold back my tears. months seem like years to us.. days go on like forever. but we still had tomorrow.
sunday.Kuya Glenn's ordination. Mama let me attend church at MMBC. when i arrived, allan was nowhere. He wasn't even awake yet. so I settled myself at the projector area. the program was heart-warming to say the least. It was a day of honoring Kuya Glenn. He worked hard for the church and it was the church's turn to honor him. But he says that all the glory belong to God. there were really touching moments, like when Tito Vice, his father-in law, washed his feet just like Jesus did His disciples. I cried at most parts.
after the program, i couldn't stay. I wasn't feeling ok at all and my heart really felt heavy. I couldn't stop crying. i left the church without telling anyone. but allan came to find me. i was worried that he did because of what his family might say. but he said he chose to be with me and spend time with me. i really wanted to go home but when the bus stopped at trinoma he pulled me and we went into the mall.
we sat down and talked and cried, and cried and cried some more.
because he understood. he knew what i was feeling and he felt the same way. we somehow hope that things would be better but maybe our time hasn't come yet. we hope it would...soon. then we would not have to number the days and count the seconds we are together..we wouldn't worry about being apart for so long again. we pray. we hope. one day. it's in His hands.
we ate lunch. seemed like we developed an appetite after crying so much. sitting still and staring at each other became our protocol. when we got tired of that we went to sm north to see a movie. "twilight"..a bizarre love story. how fitting.
after the movie, it's time to part.
i was really quiet while we were walking. i didn't want him to see that my insides were crying out. i didn't even look at him as i went into the FX. He was crying pala. I cried during the ride home. i regretted not looking into his eyes to say i love him. i know it would be quite sometime til we see each other again and i didn't have the guts to look up to him and reassure him that i will still be his when he comes back because i was so weak.
he's in Isabela again right now and I'm here in Bulacan. I've started counting down, not for christmas, but for his homecoming. Yes, he might be in his hometown and i might be in mine but home is when we are together. Those two short but sweet days prove it.
today i walk alone...he's not with me. yet i do everything thinking that he is with me in my heart. i was riding the train this morning and i looked up to see our favorite spanish poem. its words are engraved in our hearts, like our love it is forever.
Tu justificas mi existencia,
Si no te conozco, no he vivido.
Si muero sin conocerte, no muerte porque no he vivida..
Praying for the One
4 years ago